The subsequent diary was discovered by dog walkers deep in the Finnish woodland next to a bloodstained photograph of a hamster. No bodies were ever found

Following on from the accomplishment of the 2010 Norwegian blockbuster Troll Hunter, myself and a small team made enquiries before setting out to the land of the Moomin, Wolverine and and Jonatan Johansson….Finland.

We had looked at our optons all over scandinavia but found that our cameramans contact in Finland afforded us the best opportunity to get up close and personal with our forest dwelling foes. After months of preparing we found ourselves being greeted outside the Finnish airport by the man who was about to drop a bit of a bombshell, Antti Niemi. (I would like to take the time to point out that this was not the former Finland International Goalkeeper that featured in the Scottish and English Premier leagues, simply a man that shared he same name.)

It was on our way back to his house that he dropped the previously mentioned disaster. The off road vehicle that was fundamental to our expeditition had suffered a breakdown and was currently waiting to be fixed, waiting because Antti was trying to get the funds to pay for it. As much as we wished that we could have just given him the money there and then we all found ourselves short of cash due to the financing of the trip. Antti insisted that he had a answer though he then proceeded to fully explain to us how he would get us out of this situation, we would have felt better if it had been explained in English but we made out a few phrases that led us to believe he would be able to get a loan quickly ” Lainaa nopeasti ” the smile on his face and his laid back state made us all feel a bit more at ease as he carried on while we drifted by endless woods that would with any luck contain our Trolls.

” Pikavippi nopeasti ” was proclaimed loudly as Antti made for the phone. We presumed that we would have to wait for days for this process to be ironed out but brilliantly Antti came back saying we should pack our bags because we would ride at midnight, by this I think he was saying the vehicle would be fixed and we could carry out our investigations that very night.

We travelled for hours, deeper and deeper into the woods. The shadows grew darker and reached for us as we sped by in the recently fixed vehicle, Antti skillfully weaved through unwelcoming gaps and over contorted roots that seemed to prowl through the night like giant tentacles. We then stopped and went by foot for quite a while and this is how I find myself isolated and huddled inbetween the fallen branches of a shattered tree. I don’t want to know how the tree was shattered and the destiny of my accomplices appears to grow ever more precarious with each terrifying sound that fills the night air. If I make it out of here I can take with me two precious pieces of knowledge. Don’t embark into Troll land exposed and Finland is the place to be if you are looking for quick and easy loans that can be processed in under an hour.

I can hear them coming, its close, if anyone finds this tell my hamster I love h……..